15 Funny Reasons Not to Take Him Shopping

by Greatness HQ
15 Funny Reasons Not to Take Him Shopping

Editors note: This one goes in my “just for fun” category. My wife got this funny email and it made her laugh so hard that I had to share it with you. I have no idea who wrote it, but I’m glad they did…
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After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Funny Letter

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1) June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2) July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. .

3) July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4) July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5) August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6) August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7) August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8) August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9) September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10) September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11) October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12) October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13) October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME PICK ME!’

14) October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least:

15) October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.

PS. If you don’t send this funny story to 12 of your dearest friends, your property taxes will go up, your stocks will go down, and your middle will spread. (How’s that for a curse?!?) What? It’s already come true? Then send it anyway–you’ve got nothing’ to lose!

In a world that often feels too serious and rushed, it’s important to take a moment to laugh and appreciate the lighter side of life. This hilarious email story reminds us of the joy that humor can bring, even in the most mundane places like a Target store. Whether you’re a fan of harmless pranks or just need a good chuckle, sharing a laugh with others can brighten our days and strengthen our connections. So, take a break, enjoy this funny tale, and don’t forget to pass it along to spread the laughter. After all, as they say, laughter is the best medicine!

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