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Without question, there are many factors that have influenced your personal growth and helped shape the kind of person you are today. Of all the things that have contributed to your personal growth, which one would you say has had the greatest influence on you personally?
The influence of those we associate with has a major effect on the person we become. Oddly, we may not even recognize how powerful this influence really is because it can be very subtle. Still, we know that even imperceptible promptings applied over an extended period of time can exert tremendous persuasive power.
Don’t underestimate the power of peer pressure
Peer pressure can be one of those extremely powerful forces in our lives. The direction of our personal growth is directly impacted by our daily habits and rituals. We tend to pick up the habits of the people we spend time with. For instance, consider these examples.
If you hang around with people who burn through every dime they make partying, chances are very strong that you’ll develop that same pattern. If you spend most of your time around people who choose television over reading, chances are you won’t read much either.
Have you ever been stuck around someone who constantly cusses? If so, did you notice a change in your own choice of words? This can happen even if you have an initial aversion to bad language. If you hear it often enough it begins to seem normal and acceptable.
Peer pressure as a powerful motivator
If we continually associate with people who don’t share the same goals and aspirations as we do, their influence can completely undermine our personal growth. If we really want our lives to move in a certain direction, we need to pay special attention to the company we keep.
By choosing to spend time with like-minded people we reinforce and strengthen our own focus and resolve. If you want to become better at something, spend time in the company of those who are already good at it and you will improve. Peer pressure can be a powerful motivator for positive personal growth if we make wise choices about who we allow to influence us.
The personal growth equivalent of “friendly fire”
I realize that the lesson here seems obvious. The reason I mention it is because I frequently work with people who say they can’t make any progress on their goals, and guess what! In many cases it turns out that their personal growth efforts are being undermined by the influence of the people around them.
Here’s one that comes up quite often. “No matter how much I exercise and try to watch my diet I can’t lose any weight.” My first question is, “are your friends overweight?” Next question, “do they share your passion for food?”
After we pursue this line of reasoning for a while it usually comes down to, “but they’re my friends.”
Choose the direction of you want to go
It’s not my place to say who your friends should be, and that’s not the point of this article. The point is this; the people you associate with have a strong influence on the direction of your personal growth. You owe it to yourself to consider what sort of influence they are exerting.
You need to keep checking whether those you associate with are moving you in a positive direction or a negative one. Are they supporting your efforts to reach your goals or preventing you from taking affirmative action? Are they supporting your personal development, or pulling you off course?
Personal growth lesson from a little bird
Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the little bird. He had his wing over his eye and he was crying. Mr. Owl said to the little bird, “I see you are crying.” “Yes,” said the little bird, as he pulled his wing away from his eye. “Oh, I see,” said Mr. Owl. “You’re crying because the big bird pecked out your eye.” And the little bird said, “No, I’m not crying because the big bird pecked out my eye. I’m crying because I let him do it.”
Personal growth and peer pressure, it’s your choice
It’s easy to let outside influences shape our lives, and to let our associates determine our personal growth direction. It can be extremely difficult to break off from the crowd to pursue your own path. It is important to remember that when it comes to peer pressure, there are no innocent bystanders. Once we are out of our parents homes, we get to choose the people who influence us.
Try this, take a look at the people you spend your time with and ask yourself, “Do I want to turn out like them?” If the answer is yes, that’s great, you will benefit from their influence. But if the answer is no, you need to seriously consider making some different choices so you don’t end up like that little bird.
