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You have probably achieved many things in your life and that is certainly a satisfying feeling. But let me ask you this, have you experienced true happiness? The reason I ask is because for many people true happiness is an elusive pursuit. While they are able to achieve success in many areas, it doesn’t lead to the happiness they were expecting.
Have you ever wondered why?
We’ve been taught that a good education, meaningful career, nice home and family are a sure formula for a happy life. Oddly enough, a person can have all or most of those things and still feel like something is missing. It’s a situation that can be both confusing and frustrating. Some even feel guilty because of it!
So what does it take to feel true happiness?
As it turns out, happiness does not automatically accompany achievement or success like we’ve been lead to believe. There is actually something more involved. In fact, it is something that you can do right now regardless of whether you have achieved those other things or not. My friend Mike King has a wonderful blog called Learn This and he wrote an article addressing this subject that I am pleased to share with you. It’s called:
Why Are You Waiting for Happiness? Have it NOW!
Have you ever heard yourself or someone you know say, “I’ll be happy when…”? Do you think that happiness is something you will have or get in the future? Are there things you think you need to do or have before you will be truly happy? I’ve learned that you can control your own happiness and this article will help you learn to enable yourself to feel happy anytime, anywhere, in any situation.
The Myth of Happiness
Happiness is one of those long sought after, conceptual ideas and it has turned into a sense of longing and searching for many people instead of a state of being and feeling. People have learned over centuries to look to the future to find more happiness instead of looking at the here and now with what they have. Well, did you know you can have happiness now? You don’t need anything else or anyone to be happy.
Have you ever been happy before in your life? Are there moments when you feel happy right now? I suspect there are! If so, great, then you can harness that and be happy now as well.
Happiness is Internal
Many think that being happy comes from having lots of money, being attractive, having the perfect job or the latest gadget. Some people think it comes from circumstances in life or your environment. I personally don’t understand how people let themselves belief this so easily (obviously the media is very good at what they do for consumerism, but that’s another article). Studies, experience and worldly looks at happiness show that it doesn’t come from all your possessions, your genes or any external factors. It comes from within.
There are several different factors that do feed our happiness. Part of our happiness factor has been shown to be stemmed from our genetics and youngest years in life. This is a significant portion of our happiness which tends to give us a consistent fall back point for our happiness. It can move up and down from that point, but it seems this point is different for different people and doesn’t tend to change much through life. So, that area is not really within our control so there is not much point on dwelling or working on that. I have read however, that our genetics and base happiness level can be as much of 50% of what contributes to our happiness.
The next factor is circumstance
This is the one that takes the most blame for not being happy yet studies show it is only about 10% of our happiness factor. So, while this area may seem like the most important area to control, it is fairly insignificant when it comes to our happiness levels. It’s something to realize but keep in mind that doing something about something in this area is not very impactful and it isn’t a factor that can easily be changed, so also not worth a lot of time considering the value.
The last factor however, is completely different. It’s your attitude, thoughts and feelings about happiness. The voluntary control area of happiness where you think about your past, present and future to adjust your level of happiness. This area is the area you have complete control over as it’s based only on your own internal thoughts.
Past
How you think about your past and let it affect you today is up to you. If you put more thoughts on learning from the past, and use that to make life better now instead of dwelling on hardship or struggles, you can feel happier right now. People who focus on and remember the good times and happy memories are happier than those who remember all the unhappy times. Having an attitude of appreciation and gratitude for those good times strengthens that happiness you can experience today.
Present
Your life is something you must participate in to feel happy. How you see things and respond to things is definitely up to you, and doing so in a way that brings makes you happier is certainly a better option than choosing to bring sad or disappointing views into your mind. Look around to find simple things to take pleasure in and consider not what you don’t have, but what you do have. Having and putting time into relationships and enjoyable activities are great ways to experience more happiness in the present.
Future
Your future and more specifically, how you think it will be, will also greatly affect your happiness. If you condition yourself to think that you need something else (like a possession) to be happy, then when you get to your future you will be trained to continue to look for the next thing before being happy. Instead, look at the things that make you happy now which are not external and think and remind yourself of still experiencing them in the future. Be optimistic with your expectations for happiness and you can drive yourself to be more happy!
Be Happy Now
So all of this leaves only one thing when it comes being happy. Make a decision to be happy now and to change your thinking towards the things that contribute to happiness instead of deterring it. Choose your response to situations and live with a hope and appreciation to what is good, what is right, and what makes you happy.
So, what makes you feel happy?
What are you truly grateful for?
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