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What do you see when you look at the world around you? What do you see when you look at the people around you and your relationships? We all see things that we are attracted to, and things we don’t want anything to do with, isn’t that true? Developing strong life skills can help us navigate these attractions and aversions more effectively.
How objective do you think your perspective really is? If we could all be totally objective then we would all see things the same way, wouldn’t we? But we don’t! We see things differently because we are all different. Much of what we see in the people around us, and the world in general, is actually a reflection of our beliefs about ourselves.
Life is a mirror of sorts
When you’re around a person that leaves you feeling annoyed, nervous, troubled, suspicious, edgy, or in any way uncomfortable, where does that come from? Very often, some part of what you are seeing is a reflection of a hidden belief you have about yourself, one that you are not very comfortable with. If you’re harboring hidden fears and insecurities, and what someone else is saying or doing is reinforcing those, you’re going to feel uncomfortable around them. That will be an uncomfortable relationship.
Likewise, when you’re around people who encourage you to feel loved and appreciated, part of what you are feeling is a reflection of your own belief that you deserve to be loved and appreciated. In this case, the people around you are reinforcing an empowering belief that you have about yourself. So, you are naturally attracted to those people and want to have a closer relationship with them.
What are you attracting into your life?
This kind of attraction works both ways. Other people will be drawn to you if you tend to reflect their own empowering beliefs about themselves. However, if something about you reminds them of their own fears and insecurities, they won’t want to be around you.
There’s a lot we can learn from this. By studying our response to our relationships, and other people’s response to us, we can gain insight into possible limiting beliefs that we need to work on. Once we become aware of the fact that what we believe about ourselves is being revealed by the quality of our relationships, it puts us in an excellent position to address any belief that we are not especially pleased with.
Honesty is required!
Of course, this all sounds good in theory, but being brutally honest with ourselves, especially concerning some hidden limiting belief, can be somewhat uncomfortable. Our ego wants to resist the fact that anything unpleasant is actually a reflection of a negative belief on our part. It’s much easier to give credit for our discomfort to someone else. This is where resistance comes in.
After all, who of us wants to think that that annoying person we just met is somehow a reflection of an inner insecurity? Who of us wants to think that we are somehow responsible for the friction that exists in our relationships? Really, who of us wants to think anything negative about ourselves?
To be honest, we need to be balanced
Balance means that we need to be able to discern which signals being reflected back to us in our relationships are revealing limiting beliefs, and which ones have nothing to do with us. If we treat our mate with love and compassion, and we see someone else being abusive, we are not going to like it.
That doesn’t mean that we have a hidden abusive streak in us. To the contrary, it probably means that we believe that everyone deserves to be treated with a measure of respect. So, not everything that feels negative is a reflection of some hidden limiting belief. To think that it was would be completely unbalanced. Let’s face it, some things are just bad regardless of what you believe.
Do you like what you see in your relationships?
This can be a hard concept to come to grips with because it means that we need to accept responsibility for our own perception of reality. We need to be open to the idea that our beliefs determine our perception, and that our relationships reveal those beliefs.
Let’s look at some specific, hidden beliefs that our relationships might be revealing. None of this is designed to hurt anyone’s feelings. Actually, it is designed to do the exact opposite. If we are harboring negative or limiting beliefs about ourselves, chances are pretty good that we are already in pain because of it. We can’t work on a problem until we are aware that there is a problem. Awareness is the first step.
3 relationship scenarios that reveal limiting beliefs
1) Many people are consistently attracted to people who reinforce their limiting beliefs. If you believe that you don’t deserve to be loved, then you will be attracted to people who are incapable of loving you. They will also be attracted to you. No matter how hard you try, that relationship will never be deeply satisfying. This will only serve to reinforce your limiting belief that you don’t deserve to be loved.
2) Low self esteem carries with it a sense of unworthiness. If we feel unworthy of a mutually respectful relationship, we will be attracted to people who lack the ability to show respect. They will also be attracted to us. It may not be real obvious at first, but our radar can sense the signs and draw us in. In this case, familiarity will probably breed contempt and our belief that we are unworthy of respect will be reinforced.
3) If we believe that people are basically unkind, how will that influence our relationship choices? We will probably find someone we are attracted to on another level and then make excuses for their lack of kindness. Eventually, when their unkindness is directed at us, our limiting belief will be reinforced and we will have the hurt feelings to prove it.
Awareness is the path to freedom
All three of the relationship scenarios are painful. None of us wants that to be our reality. So, how do we avoid playing into these traps? Once we become consciously aware that it is our beliefs that are creating an unpleasant relationship experience, we have taken the first step toward freedom. Then we can take decisive steps to dismantle those limiting beliefs.
When limiting beliefs are replaced with empowering beliefs, it changes the kind of people we are attracted to, and the kind of people who are attracted to us. It changes the whole dynamic of our relationships. We begin to build relationships with people who reinforce our positive beliefs about ourselves. This will completely change what we take into a relationship, and that, in turn, will change the way we experience our relationships.
Take the next step and amaze yourself
Our reality is the manifestation of our beliefs. If we don’t like our current reality all we need to do is change our beliefs and we will get a new reality. If you want to do this, the easiest way is to get my book TRUE SELF. I’ll walk you through it step-by-step and you will get results, guaranteed.
Bottom line, you deserve to be loved and treated with kindness. You are worthy of respect and consideration. And you can build satisfying relationships with people who want to reinforce your empowering beliefs. What you believe you can achieve!
