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One of the most important features of beginning a new friendship is to not be scared or overly self-conscious. When making friends there is a tendency to make assumptions on what another person may be thinking. A guy may think, “I’d like to go over and talk to her, but she probably wouldn’t be interested in making friends with someone like me.”
Meantime she is thinking, “I wonder why he never talks to me, he’s probably just not interested.” When making friends, avoid making assumptions. How can you possibly know what the other person is thinking? Remember, you don’t know them. Why not take the initiative to start a conversation and see what happens?
Making friends is not about what others think
People who are insecure when it comes to making friends are usually scared of what other people might be thinking. When you do that you are making it all about you, but making friends is about a connection between two people. If someone doesn’t seem interested in making friends immediately, don’t take it personal because there could be any number of reasons for their response. Maybe their life is upside down right now. Since you don’t know, why take it personal?
Always remember that in the beginning of a friendship everyone is on his or her best behavior. But making friends usually takes time. Sure, there are times when people seem to bond instantly, but that is the exception, not the norm. So, when making friends don’t expect too much too soon. Give them some space and let things unfold in a natural way.
When making friends, choose honesty
Resist the temptation to misrepresent yourself when making friends, just to impress the other person. The objective of making friends is to get to know the other person, not to mislead them into liking you. Are friendships that aren’t based on honesty really worth having? If the other party cannot accept honest communication then they are not much of a friend!
Friendship should never require that you both agree on everything. So, when making friends don’t be afraid to have your own views and opinions. Any friend worth having will respect you for being honest about how you feel, and what you like and don’t like. Of course, you need to be tactful and willing to respect their views and opinions also.
Making friends is one thing, keeping them is another
Some friendships last a lifetime, some only for a little while. Some friendships are very close and personal, others are limited in their scope. People and situations change, that’s just how life works. Accepting these realities will put you at ease when making friends because you won’t form unrealistic expectations.
Regardless of whether you have lots of really close friends, or just a few, the important thing is to value these special relationships. Always be grateful for the special connection you’ve made with these special friends, and be willing to work at keeping the friendship strong, because a true friendship can bring so much value into the life of both people.
